Blankets for the Walls of My Forts

"You do not cheat me of my childhood.
You bring me blankets for the walls of my forts.
There is no anger with the eyebrow raised.
When you do the fantastic I am amazed."

_Lisa Loeb "Alone"

I wanted to voice out my insecurities and fears to Aamir Bhai because I felt that I needed to be irrational aloud once and get the thoughts out of my system in order to disregard them altogether.

Aamir Bhai didn't let me be that, saying that he will not allow me to be irrational even for a second because that would give way to self-pity which would be wrongly placed and difficult to repair.

Rather, he made me look deeper into my feelings so I could pull out the root and deal with that. Instead of comfortably passing off my fears for insecurities that I should think of living with, he made me choose a way to be stronger in order to face the situation as it stood and think of positive ways to better myself.

He told me not to be passive about my insecurities and battle them with reason to eradicate them altogether, and in the case that they stood despite my rationale, I should examine my decisions that led to my current situation and change them so I can feel better and more at peace.

It all started with him not listening to what I had to say, because I said I want to be silly. He refused to let me be a cry-baby. That's how he loves me: so much that he can't bear to see me weak for even a minute, even when I am being weak alone, or with him who's so close to my soul.

To think I was angry with his refusal to hear me out, when all he was doing was giving me blankets for the walls of my forts.